I Am Damaged (Hamilton)
by missbeliever02
Summary: Modern Lams AU. John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton have been best friends for years now. John knows that Alex is damaged, but he wonders if he'll be able to save him in time. It doesn't help that John has a major crush on Alex. But maybe Alex isn't the only one that's damaged. Maybe John needs to be saved too. Will they save each other in time? Or wait until it's too late?
1. Chapter 1 - Peach Scone

_**Note:** This is based on the fictional versions of these characters more than the realistic. I do not own Hamilton: An American Musical or it's characters. All that I own is the story idea and the story itself._

 **Warnings: alcohol, drunkness, language.**

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._ A young man named John Laurens was sound asleep when he was awoken by his phone ringing from the other side of the room. He swung his legs around and got out of bed, walked across the room, checked the contact name that appeared on his screen, and answered. He didn't even have time to say 'hello' before hearing the voice that was on the other side of the line speak.

"Alexander Hamilton."

"I'm sorry?"

"My name is Alexander Hamilton."

"I know that Alex. I'm John Laurens. We've been best friends for years. Why are you calling me at 2 am?"

"There's a million things I haven't done. But one of the things I would like to do is you."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm so drunk right now."

"I'll come pick you up buddy. What bar are you at?"

"I'm not at a bar...I don't think."

"Are you at home?"

"I don't fucking know."

"I'm on my way. Make sure you have clothes on."

"I do what I want."

*click*

That was it. Alexander hung up the phone. Of course, John was worried, but this was now normal for the two. Sometimes he would call Lafayette, but he was out of town for college. Hercules Mulligan was working as an apprentice for a local tailor and decided to go full time.

The truth was that John Laurens loved Alex. They had been best friends since they were teenagers fresh out of high-school and they first met at a Civil Rights convention. John had brought Hercules and Lafayette with him because they had never been before. That's when they ran into Alex. Literally. Alex was running to who knows where when he ran straight into John. They introduced themselves to each other and actually ended up having a very detailed conversation on civil rights. The others liked Alexander as well, and actually ended up convincing him to speak when the convention had open mic time. They've been best friends ever since.

Best friends.

Best friends, and nothing more.

The thought tore Laurens apart, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it.

For one, Alexander was totally straight. He's had multiple girlfriends. John couldn't blame him though. Alex even used to date Elizabeth Schuyler, one of three daughters of one the richest men in the state. John remembers watching them dance at a party that everybody had been invited to. However, John also remembers them breaking up because Eliza (that's what they called her for short) found out that Alex had been in bed with another woman. He remembers thinking he had a chance with Alexander. He remembers talking himself out of ever doing anything. He not only remembers it, but regrets it. Besides, if Alex was perfect enough to win the heart of all of these beautiful girls, why would he even think about having a chance with someone like John?

John didn't have time to remanence on the past. He had to go make sure Alexander didn't do anything stupid. This wasn't the first time this had happened, so he knew the drill. He was going to go to Alex's house, find him unconscious on the couch or some other piece of furniture, wait until he wakes up and isn't too drunk, and leave. That was the usual routine. Although lately, John has been having to visit the Hamilton residence more often. Each time Alex gets worse and worse. Sometimes he can even get...violent. Nevertheless, they were still best friends. John was always there to help. Besides, Alex usually didn't even remember any events that occurred when he awoke the next morning.

John pulled on his jacket and grabbed his keys before going out to his car and starting to drive down the snowy road. Alexander's house was only a few minutes away which made things convenient. After not too long, John was lifting up the rock that had a spare key safely hidden underneath. He stuck the key in its hole before carefully taking it out and putting it back in its hiding place. The door slowly creaked open before John pushed it the rest of the way, shutting it behind him. The silence was almost eerie. Maybe Alexander was asleep. It wasn't unusual for the man to fall into unconsciousness after drinking as much as he did. However, John still wanted to make sure everyone was alive and nothing was on fire. He didn't want a repeat of last time. The house almost burned down.

 _Crash._ John heard the sound of glass breaking, followed by a very loud string of curses. Yep, Alex was definitely still awake. Laurens rushed back to where the noise was coming from. Alex was in his bedroom, standing with a broken picture frame at his feet. John stood in the doorway, shaking his head. 'It could've been worse' he thought, staring at one of his closest friends. Alexander was muttering things to himself as he stood there rubbing the back of his head, wearing only a pair of jeans (and John was really hoping Alexander was wearing boxers but secretly wished he wasn't). Alex was pretty well-built with just a little bit of pudge, which John thought was adorable.

"Hey buddy, whatcha doing?" John inquired, causing Alex to turn around. 'Those eyes.' Laurens thought to himself. 'God, those eyes.' Alexander's eyes had a color that could not be described, but they seemed to burn straight into John's soul. He was just so captivated.

"Hey gorgeous." Alex slurred. "Looking good."

John sighed, rubbing to bridge of his nose with his middle finger and thumb. "Alex, you're drunk. And you smell. Go take a shower."

"Just because I'm drunk doesn't mean it's not true.

Laurens wanted to believe what he heard, and if this was any other day he might have, but Alex was drunk off his ass and barely speaking coherent sentences. He didn't know what he was talking about.

Did he?

"Hey, John?" Alex asked, taking a few steps closer.

"Yeah dude?" Laurens replied, trying to be as not awkward as possible (and failing).

"Ya know I love you, right?"

"I love you too bud."

Alex sighed and started walking around with the other man following close behind to make sure he didn't fall. "No not like that. Like _love_ love, ya feel me?"

John couldn't help but chuckle. "Alex, you're straight."

A scoff came from Hamilton. "I am a raging bisexual, how dare you."

This gave Laurens another ray of hope, but again, Alexander was extremely drunk. Alexander continued.

"I can prove it."

"Sure you can."

"Just you wait."

Alex stopped and so did John. Alex turned around to face him with a look of what seemed to be determination. Alex started to lean forward, and John couldn't move. He was frozen.

 _To be continued…  
_

* * *

 **I have no ownership of Hamilton (An American Musical).**

 **Chapter 1 - Completed**


	2. Chapter 2 - Drunk In Love

_**Note:** This is based on the fictional versions of these characters more than the realistic. I do not own Hamilton: An American Musical or it's characters. All that I own is the story idea and the story itself._

 **Warnings: drunkness, gayness, mention of future smut**

Alex started to lean forward, and John couldn't move. He was frozen.

Time seemed to stop. What was Alexander doing?

Next thing they both knew, Alex simply collapsed into John's arms.

As he was holding the man in his arms, John smacked himself for getting his hopes up. What did he think Hamilton was going to do? He was drunk anyway. He wasn't in his right mind. Still, a boy can dream. And John dreamed lots.

"Come on, buddy. Let's get you in the shower." John said, getting the younger man back on his feet. "You're drunk."

"And you're sexy." Alexander Hamilton mumbled. John Laurens simply pretended not to hear.

"If you don't get in the show, I'll make you."

"Please do."

"Alex, that's enough."

"What are you gonna do, daddy? Punish me?"

John let out a long, frustrated sigh. "Alexander Hamilton, you smell like booze and vomit. Get in the damn shower."

"Fine," Alex slurred. "But only if you join me."

Laurens rubbed the bridge of his nose and forefinger. This wasn't funny. Did Hamilton somehow know that Laurens had a crush on him, and was now teasing John about it? Was he just that drunk?

Or maybe...

Just maybe...

No, there was no way Alex actually felt that way.

But you know what they say. The stuff a person does when they're drunk has crossed their mind at least once when they were sober.

Still, there was absolutely no way.

Was there?

John immediately shook the thought out of his brain. He couldn't afford to get his hopes up. He couldn't afford to be hurt again, even though he had suffered like this for years now. With tears threatening to escape his eyes and a crack sneaking into his voice, John finally spoke. "Alex, please. Just...just get in the shower. I'll wait here."

Even though he was drunk, Alex could see that John was hurt, though he had no idea why. So he began stumbling towards the bathroom. He kept tripping over his own feet, John catching him every time. Well, almost every time.

Okay, there was no way Alexander could stand in the shower without slipping, falling, and possibly breaking his head open. Once again, John let out a sigh before walking over to Alex. He used his arm and shoulder to help the younger boy along. "Fine, I'll go in with you. But only because I don't want you to die." The smirk and the silence from Alexander after that sentence worried John. Why was he torturing himself like this? Oh well, he was so sure everything would be fine. If John sat right outside, kept his head turned and eyes closed, everything would be fine.

At least that's what he thought.

Once the men had arrived at the shower, John sat down right outside the door and kept his back turned so Alexander could get undressed. Although, after a few minutes of silence, Laurens heard a quiet voice come from behind him.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't get my pants off."

John froze. Was this another joke? Was Hamilton doing this on purpose? "W-well keep trying, buddy chum pal."

There was a loud groan. "I can't." Alex said, drawing out the 'a'.

"Dude, come on. What are you, 2?"

"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Can you just come help me?"

"Fine." John reluctantly agreed. Yes, this was going to negatively affect his emotions, but if he knew anything about Alex it's that he almost never gives up about pretty much anything. It's even worse when he's 'buzzed'. John got up from where he was sitting and stepped into the door. Sure enough, Hamilton was standing there drunkenly trying to unbutton his pants. Laurens couldn't help but laugh, causing Alexander to look over with furrowed eyebrows.

"What are you laughing at? Come help me." Alex sort of mumbled.

John was perplexed. On one hand, he would feel like he was taking advantage of Alex since he was extremely drunk and most likely wouldn't remember anything that happened when he woke up. On the other hand, he is just helping out his best friend. What was the big deal?

"Here, I got you." John finally said as he got closer to Alex. He awkwardly reached over to start unbuttoning the pants of his closest friend. Platonically, of course. After he did though, he looked into Alexander's eyes and found himself lost in them. He couldn't look away. Once again, John was frozen. He had never been this close to Alex, and certainly never this...intimate. Alex started to lean forward again, so John, of course, got ready to catch him. But this time was different. This time, Alexander carefully placed his hands on the younger man shoulders. 'What the hell was he doing?' John thought. Before he knew it, however, he found Alex's lips on his own.

Wait, no. This wasn't right.

Alexander Hamilton was _kissing_ John Laurens. There was no way this was real.

And yet, Laurens didn't want it to stop. He found himself with his arms wrapped around Alex (who was shorter than he was, so Alex had to stand on his tiptoes to hoist himself up).

Alex was drunk. It wouldn't be right to take advantage of him like this. He probably doesn't actually feel that way towards you. He probably won't remember it in the morning. No matter how much John told himself these things, he couldn't stop. Alex was like a drug. John just took his first hit, and now he was addicted.

The pair staid standing there for a few minutes longer, just getting lost in each other, before Alex broke away from the kiss and spoke up.

"I think my boxers are stuck too."

John's eyes widened, with (mostly) fear). "I-I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I think my boxers are stuck too."


	3. Chapter 3 - Bubblegum Bitch

_**Note:** This is based on the fictional versions of these characters more than the realistic. I do not own Hamilton: An American Musical or it's characters. All that I own is the story idea and the story itself._

 ** _Warnings: descriptive smut_** , **_drunk sex, slight non-con, descriptions of a panic attack_**

"I said I think my boxers are stuck too."

John was sure he heard incorrectly, so he frantically tried to clean his ears. He was promptly interrupted by what felt to be...Alex kissing his neck? This was so wrong. So so wrong. But if it was wrong, why did it feel so right? John's first instinct was to pull away and walk out. But he didn't. Was it the fear that froze him in place? Was it just not knowing what to do that kept him there? Or was John Laurens actually enjoying himself? Every thought in his mind was telling him no. Alex was drunk. He doesn't know what he's doing. But John wanted so bad to kiss back.

Alex was drunk.

He wouldn't remember anything.

It wouldn't be that bad, right?

John couldn't help himself. He found himself wrapping his arms around Alexander and holding him close. Alex's fingertips messed with the hem of John's shirt, causing Laurens to lift up his arms so his shirt could be removed and tossed to the side. Alex suddenly dropped to his knees, and John automatically knew what he was hinting at. He started to unbuckle his belt. Once it was undone, Laurens pulled down his pants as well. Alex practically jumped at the hem of his boxers as he yanked them down to John's ankles. John had a pretty good sized member. It wasn't huge and it wasn't tiny. Either way, it was enough for Alex to take the whole thing into his mouth without gagging. Laurens was in heaven. He let his fingers slowly get tangled in Alex's hair as his head fell back and a moan escaped his lips. Alex just smirked and kept sucking. His tongue swirled around John's tip as he continued to tease. Alex let his tongue roll up and down John's cock and John continued to moan. John felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge. But suddenly, everything stopped. He looked up to see Alex standing up with his boxers removed.

"Yeah, I may have lied about my boxers being stuck," Alex replied snarkily.

The pair found themselves making out on the bed, with Alex leaning on top of John while he had his head propped up with pillows against the headboard. Of course, both of them were so hard that they felt like they were going to explode. However, each of them seemed to be holding themselves off from release for some reason. After roughly exploring each other's mouths, Alex started to softly kiss down John's body. He stopped at the chest to give a few soft nibbles, causing a gasp to escape John's mouth. Alex kept going down and down John's body until his mouth was just above his waistline. He stopped leaving John confused and extremely dissatisfied.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Alex chuckled as he sat up slowly. Laurens, thinking something was wrong, tried to sit up as well, only to be pushed back down. The other male placed his hands on John's shoulders and was sitting on his lower stomach.

Laurens was still out of breath. He could barely believe what was happening. It felt like some dream that he didn't wanna wake up from. But as if on cue, the little voice inside his head started talking to him.

 _John, what are you doing?_

 _This isn't right._

 _This is exactly like you're taking advantage of Alex._

 _You can't do this to yourself._

 _You can't do this to **him**._

John's eyes widened. That little voice was right. He...he can't do this. When Alex sobers up, who's to say they won't absolutely hate each other? Who's to say Alex won't ever wanna talk to him again? This small moment, this one poor choice could ruin everything the two had.

He had to stop this.

The only problem was that he couldn't.

By the time John had come to his senses, Alex was already easing down onto him.

"Alex, I-"

"Shh..." The older man replied. "Let me take care of you." Alex started bouncing up and down lightly.

"Alex, no. I really think-"

"I said shush. I need to concentrate." Alex started speeding up.

"We should really-" Laurens interrupted himself with an involuntary moan. He really couldn't control this.

"See?" Alexander smirked. "I knew you were enjoying it."

"I-" _Pant._ "-really can't-" _Pant._ "-do this."

Hamilton couldn't hear John. He kept moving up and down, slowly speeding up. Alex was skinny, but he was strong, so John couldn't push him off. Laurens felt himself nearing closer and closer to the edge. And by Alexander's face, noises, and the fact that he was starting to get sloppier, John could tell he was close too.

They both knew what was coming (no pun intended).

With a loud moan, Alex finishes.

John follows soon after.

 _What have you done, John?_

 _You should've stopped him, John._

 _He's gonna hate you forever, John._

 _You'll never have a chance now, John._

'Tell me something I don't know.' Laurens tells himself.

Alex slowly eases off John's member and lays down beside him. Alex was too tired to clean himself up. Alex closed his eyes and smiled. He laid on the side that was facing John, while John was still staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, John?" Alex muttered.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

John was still processing what just happened, so he couldn't respond. After a while, he looks at Alex, who appears to be asleep.

Well right now, John only knew one thing. When Alex woke up, he'd be pissed. John had to get out of here. He quietly and softly swung his legs off the edge of the bed and sat his feet on the ground before standing up. He went to the restroom and took a quick shower before finding his clothes and putting them on. After tugging his shirt over his head, he realized he couldn't just leave Alex. So he got two Tylenol, a glass of water, and a sticky note. He used a pen to scribble a quick note before turning to head out the door.

John took one last look at Alex and smiled softly before exiting the household, quietly shutting all doors behind him.

What did the note say, you ask?

Two small, simple words.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕡 _**(a few hours)**_

* * *

John was sitting on the couch in his own home, hugging his knees to his chest. His eyes were red, puffy, and still watering. Who could he go to about this? He wasn't in contact with any of his family, and he felt like any of his friends would judge him. On the bright side, Alex wouldn't know who was with him last night. Or would he? Maybe someone heard them or saw John entering and leaving Hamilton's house. This was absolutely killing John. He thought of one person he could call. The only problem was that they weren't really friends. In fact, they never even talked. But this person had a fling with Alexander in the past and probably knew exactly what John was feeling right now. 'Fuck it' John told himself. He picked up his phone, clicked on the contact, and called. The person picked up almost immediately.

"Um, hello?" The voice belonged to a female. She seemed both tired and slightly confused. John didn't blame her. The call was pretty random.

"Maria? It's John Laurens. I need to talk to you. In person. Can we meet up? Before you say anything, it's pretty important." There were a few seconds of silence before Maria spoke up.

"When and where?"

"Seabury's in thirty minutes." Seabury's was a nearby restaurant. Alex had gotten into a fight with the owner (around the time Alex and John first met, actually) that ended in Alex being detained for a few hours before their frenemy, Aaron Burr, coming to bail Alex out. Despite that incident, the restaurant still had amazing food. Besides, it wasn't even the same manager anymore.

It sounded like Maria muttered a few words to someone else before replying. "Make it an hour. I'm finishing with a client. But once I do, I'm completely free. See you then." She hangs up. Maria was a popular makeup artist who's had some pretty big clients, so naturally, she's pretty busy. But this was important. John couldn't stand the thought of living with this secret without telling anyone. Everything felt wrong; the world had turned upside down.

About half an hour passed and Laurens had started getting ready to go out. He made sure his eyes looked okay and that his clothes were semi-decent. He didn't want to wear anything too fancy, but he also didn't want to look like a slob. John just had a nice t-shirt and jacket on with a pair of black pants and shoes. He adjusted his mirror before letting out a sigh. He was just about to leave when his phone screen lit up and started to ring. Confused, John looked at the cell-phone.

 _Oh god._

 _No no no no._

Alex was calling him. This couldn't be good, whether he was drunk or sober. John was freaking out. He didn't know what to do. His hands started shaking and his chest felt like it was about to cave in on itself. With a shaky finger, he went to click on the screen...

...and clicked that little red button in the bottom left corner.


	4. Chapter 4 - I'm So Sick

_**Note:** This is based on the fictional versions of these characters more than the realistic. I do not own Hamilton: An American Musical or its characters. All that I own is the story idea and the story itself._

 **WARNINGS: description of a hangover, mentions of non-consensual sex and being taken advantage of, yelling, one (1) use of f*g, cursing**

Alexander looked at his cell phone. He was very confused. John always picked up; always. Why wouldn't he now?

Alex was lying in bed on his right side. His hair was a mess atop his head, his head was pounding, and every movement seemed to cause him immense pain. 'Must be a hangover' he thought. The feeling was all too familiar. Hamilton sat down his phone and then sat up with his back against the headboard, looking around. Everything seemed intact. He was in his own home, nothing seemed stolen, and there was no stranger lying in the bed next to him. The only thing that seemed different was the objects sitting on his nightstand. Upon closer inspection (and intense squinting), Alex realized what they were. There was a small glass of water and two white pills. So someone was with him last night. But who? The young man reached over to take the medicine but noticed a yellow sticky note sitting close by. 'I'm sorry' was all that it said. No phone number or social media. Just two, small words. Hamilton popped the two pills into his mouth, not really caring what they were, and washed them down with the water. He began to assess all of the information he knew.

A) Alexander Hamilton had gotten very drunk.

B) Something happened to lead a stranger into his house.

C) Alex had sex with that same stranger.

D) The stranger was nowhere to be found.

Wait a minute, who would know about his secret front door key? Hercules? No, he's been neck deep in his work. Lafayette? No, college. Eliza, Angelica, and/or Peggy? No, they were all off helping their ill father. John? No, he...

He...

No, John was his best friend. He wouldn't do that to Alex.

Then again, John was the one Alex usually called whenever he was a little too tipsy.

John was the only one in town.

"This is ridiculous," Alex muttered out loud to himself. "I'll just check my recent calls. If John was the one here, I would've called him. Even then, though."

Alexander picked his phone backed up and unlocked it. He clicked on the phone icon and swiped over to where his recent calls were listed. Hamilton rarely called anyone unless it was absolutely necessary, so the list should've been empty.

But it wasn't.

At the top of the list, where the most recent calls were, was John Laurens' name and number.

'Impossible.' Hamilton thought. 'No, no, no. That's just a coincidence. It has to be. But why wouldn't he pick up this morning? Why did that note seem suspiciously close to his handwriting?'

Alex needed to get out. Maybe he could get some coffee (and possibly some more alcohol). The nearest restaurant was Seabury's. That name left a bitter taste in the boy's mouth because of an...incident that occurred a few months ago. Alexander didn't think he could walk any farther than that, and there was no way he was in a stable enough state that he could drive. With a loud sigh, Alex swung his legs around so that his feet were touching the floor. Right away it felt like the room was spinning. Everything seemed to be moving and was a little bit blurry. However, Hamilton was so used to this feeling that he managed to put his clothes on (these included a gray sleeveless shirt, a pair of jean shorts, some shoes, and a dark green hoodie,) navigate the hallway, and get to the front door with minimal damage to the house/himself. So what if he saw more than one doorknob and had to keep waving his hand around until he found the real one?

𝔸𝕥 𝕊𝕖𝕒𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕪'𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕁𝕠𝕙𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕒

"Dude..." Maria breathed out with an unreadable tone to her voice. "What the fuck did you do?"

John had just explained the earlier events to his acquaintance while they were sitting at their table inside of Seabury's. It was visibly hard to relive without cringing to death. He looked down at his shaking hands and raised them to slide down his face before letting out a response. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what to do. I didn't know who else to call. I only called you because I knew you would understand."

Maria had ordered a basket of chicken strips, a small fry, and a medium Dr. Pepper, all of which was sitting in front of her. John didn't feel like eating. All that sat on the area in front of him was a small water cup that was still full. John kept wondering; what did he do? Everything was so fuzzy and he could hardly remember. His thoughts were interrupted by Maria speaking up once again.

"Do you have feelings for him?" Laurens blinked his eyes, shocked by her question.

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Are you, John Laurens, romantically and/or sexually attracted to Alexander Hamilton?" After asking that for a second time, Maria picked a chicken strip up out of her basket and began eating.

John had to think for a bit. Could he trust Maria with this massive secret? What if she still kept in touch with Alex? Would she tell him or anyone else? Laurens hadn't even come out to anyone besides his closest friends. If she did tell others, what would they think? Quite a few people in his neighborhood were very conservative. However, others were very accepting. The rest he wasn't sure what they'd do. His heart told him to go for it and be honest. After all, how much harm could really be done? On the other hand, his head told him not to risk it. His entire life could be ruined based on his answer. It isn't worth it. He glanced at Maria. She had already finished most of her meal while John had been thinking. She must have noticed that he looked back over at her because she immediately spoke up.

"Dude, are you okay?" Maria asked as she picked up a fry. "It's a yes or no question, not rocket science."

With a deep breath, John answered.

"No."

𝔸𝕝𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕒𝕥 𝕊𝕖𝕒𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕪'𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕩

Alexander was walking down the sidewalk with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. Everything felt strange. The sky was beginning to look dim with grey clouds and the cold wind was beginning to nip at the exposed skin on his neck and face. However, he ignored this as the lit up sign in front of his destination was getting closer and closer until it was right above him.

Alex pushed on the door. It didn't budge. He tried again. It still didn't budge. 'What the hell' he thought. Was he still drunk? Suddenly, he saw a couple walk out of the restaurant by pushing the door. Oh. Now pulling the door open, Hamilton stepped inside and let out a smooth breath before taking off his hoodie and tying it loosely around his waist, revealing a gray sleeveless shirt. His eyes looked around the restaurant until he found an empty booth that was right in front of two people talking. Oh well; he didn't mind. He walked over and took his seat, waiting for someone to come and hand him a menu.Alex's head seemed to be throbbing and every color and sound around him seemed 10 times more vibrant than before. Not in a good way either. To distract himself, he tried to play a little game.

The game went as follows. Alexander would find strangers that were talking near him and make up an image for them in his head based on the conversation they were having as if he were writing a story. He played it all the time as a kid and still plays it to this day when he's bored. Nothing too interesting was happening at the moment though. There was an old man at the bar talking to the bartender about the economy, a waitress with her tongue down her boyfriend's throat, and two frat boys being obnoxiously annoying. Then Alex remembered the people talking behind him. He hadn't paid much attention to them since he got there, so what the heck? Inconspicuously leaning back, Alex listened in on their conversation.

"I'm sorry, what?" Person 1 said, obviously a female.

"No, I don't like him. I went over to help him because he was shitfaced and I didn't want him doing anything stupid. Things got out of control and escalated into sex, but you already know that much." This plot just got a lot more interesting. Person 2 was a male who seemed very nervous. Who was he sleeping with? Maybe the girl with him is his girlfriend and he accidentally cheated on her, or maybe Person 2 worked for a gang and this was a mission gone wrong, or maybe-

"Still. If you don't even like Alex, why did you let that happen in the first place?"

Time seemed to freeze. No, not the good freeze like in a cheesy rom-com where the main character sees her soulmate for the first time. It was more of the freeze a character has in a horror movie when they realize the killer is already inside the house.

Whoever these people were, one of them had slept with- no, taken advantage of Alexander. He had to find out who they were. Alex turned around to see who he was dealing with.

Person 1: the female. Maria Reynolds. Why was she here? She and Alex hadn't really talked since you-know-what happened. She hadn't been the one to sleep with Alex; he knew from the conversation that it was the male. At the other side of the table sat person 2, who he could now put a name to.

John Laurens.

Alexander's best friend that he's known for years.

Alex knew John was gay, but he didn't care. What shocked him the most is realizing what John had done not too long ago.

He couldn't stand the site of John at the moment. He didn't want to talk to him or see him. So, without much thought, Alexander simply stood up, got out of his booth, and walked out of the entrance. With a bright red face and muscles tense with anger, Alex began to wonder:

What now?

𝔸𝕥 𝕁𝕠𝕙𝕟 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕒'𝕤 𝕋𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖

"I didn't 'let that happen.' I went with it at first, but later I wanted to back out and he wouldn't stop." John replied to Maria's statement, dragging his hands down his face and onto the table.

Maria was about to respond. However, a movement in his peripheral vision caught John's eye. There was a man exiting the restaurant. He had messy brown hair, a gray tank top, and a green hoodie tied around his waist. He seemed pretty mad.

Wait a minute.

John could recognize that man anywhere.

"Oh god- Maria, I have to go. Now." John said hurriedly. "Here's 20 bucks for the meal. I'm sorry for causing you trouble." He didn't give Maria any time to talk before he slammed the money down on the table and ran out the door after Alexander. 'Jesus Christ,' Laurens thought. 'What have I done?'

𝔸𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣'𝕤 ℙ𝕆𝕍

Alexander was clinging his arms to his stomach. He didn't know what to feel or how to think. The weather involved the same dark clouds and the same icy wind as it did earlier, but now everything seemed a little darker than it did before. The people hustling around him, the cars driving by, nothing seemed to matter more to Alex than the thoughts in his own head. However, that was until a voice called out from behind him.

"Alexander! Wait!"

Hamilton jerked around and came face to face with his friend- well, ex-friend he should say now, John. Alex didn't want to hear any sorry explanations for what happened. He didn't care. Everything inside of him felt like it was on fire, and that it was telling Alex to keep on walking. However, for some reason, he didn't listen.

"What do you want, John? I have places to be."

"Please, just let me explai-"

"No need," Alexander said as he scoffed. "I understand perfectly. You took advantage of me!"

"Alex, that's not what-"

"And to think I trusted you! You were my friend! You were supposed to help me, not fuck me!" Alexander was practically yelling now with tears sitting at the corners of his eyes.

"Now hang on just a second," Laurens said, "You're the one who fucked me! If you had actually listened, you would've known that you were the one who didn't stop. You were the one who kept going, not me!" There were a few seconds of silence.

"Bullshit," Alex whispered.

"What?"

"I said bullshit!" Hamilton took a step closer to John. "You really expect me to believe that?"

"Ham, hold on a sec-"

"Don't call me Ham! You don't deserve to!" He took another step.

"Alexander, please..." John was visibly crying now. He was absolutely terrified.

"We may have slept together, but it wasn't my fucking fault! Because guess what?" Alex took one more step.

"Please stop..." Laurens whispered, barely audible.

"At least I'm not a fag!"


End file.
